The madness continues...
HERE.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
On Growing Pains & Small Victories
Emerge-detail (Cymothoe Sangaris butterfly wings)
After a LONG dry spell I am finally beginning the process of reviving my atrophied creative muscles and deadened nerves. At the urging of a very special friend I recently responded to a "call to Arizona artists" and submitted a piece that I created specifically for this juried invitational. This is a surely a victory for me as I've strayed from my creative path. I've let much of my time here in the desert disappoint me but I feel ready to move forward.
This is a huge step towards regaining my goal of becoming a working artist. I haven't fully figured out why but I'll admit that I've been stalling/keeping my voice silent for some time now. It would be wonderful to have the piece chosen by the gallery. It wouldn't hurt to add another notch on the resume (and possibly have an opportunity to get my more personal work out there) but, more important is that this exercise has let loose a flood of ideas and the desire to experiment with my materials once again.
The process of formally submitting work to a gallery is not difficult but through this experience I've felt a sense of reawakening complete with awkwardness and growing pains. I haven't shown in a professional gallery setting since I left the Bay Area several years ago. Photographic slides were the norm for submitting artwork to galleries the last time I showed! I lost my momentum when I left Oakland and it feels really good to reach out to a gallery again. I do feel that there is a certain amount of ridiculousness surrounding the showing and selling of Art. (another post for another day!!) It can be really difficult to keep free of the tangle of hypocrisy and politics in the scene but, I need to recognize the importance of getting my work out into the world. More than simply giving a sense of validation to my creative work a gallery showing can be a platform to use my voice.
I've tinkered creatively over the past couple of years but haven't had the energy to significantly push through the nonsense that daily life can bring and really engage in my heart's work. This has left me feeling incomplete. Time certainly does have a way of slipping by quickly as a series of trips to grocery store, gas station, Petco and the back and forth between home and the day job. It is SO easy to become disengaged from one's sources of fuel and inspiration! Why? How? Discipline is such an important factor in the success of a working artist but without a connection to one's passion it means nothing. Why is it so easy for me to stop making art when my very existence relies on it? The struggle...(the madness?)
Stop. Breathe. Create.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Visual Sketchbook-large Scale Installation Project
Wild Indonesian Silk Cocoon Detail
A random creative spark over the weekend has ignited my need to resume work on one of my large scale installation projects. I have been sewing together Indonesian Silk Cocoons for the last few days like a mad woman-Balancing the fine line between Creative & Crazy!!!?! (A more specific rant about this particular art idea can be found in the recesses of this blog.) I find myself at the point in the project where the initial idea has solidified and now it is just a matter of work to bring the piece into being. Work, work...and more work! I often find myself in a meditative state while working creatively-I have adapted a really repetitive method-many small pieces brought together to make a whole of sorts. Luminous gold cocoons sewn together into small boxes-illuminated from within-I hope to fill a gallery space with them at some point.
(The idea is still evolving...)
I am in complete awe of these gorgeous wild silk cocoons-love working with them. New ideas are beginning to take root within me for future projects. I have decided to use the blog as a visual sketchbook of sorts to work out a few of the ideas that are keeping me up at night. I can't draw to save my life so I've been hunting for online images that illustrate my thoughts. This reminds me of the many hours I spent, in my teens, cutting pictures out of magazines for use in collages. (I apologize upfront to the owners of the images-I will do my best to play by the rules and include a link to the original sources that can be accessed by clicking the 'x' beneath the image.) The ideas are very loose at this point-there is much shifting and evolving.
I'm playing with the idea of creating several life sized (6' x 6' squared?) cocoon boxes using the same method of sewing together the individual cocoons to form the larger structure. Within each will be a small table & chair and a light source. The first life sized cocoon enclosed space will contain antique glass apothecary jars filled with different seeds and roots. (maybe soil.) A single sprout will grow from a pile of soil on the table-water & soil will stain the table and run off onto the floor. (perhaps an old worn threadbare persian rug on the floor-cut to fit the space.) Baskets of roots and broken terra cotta pots...antique gardening tools? I see the space alive with white moths or small song birds. (Now, before PETA is sent out after me-this idea exists strictly in the realm of my imagination.)
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More to come...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Bitter Melon for Bitter News
I am a person who has been VERY lucky regarding good health. I have never been seriously ill. Like many, I suffer from allergies, am prone to colds and moan about the occasional ache or pain. I have been blessed and I am NOT a saint. I love sweets & breads, neglect to stretch & exercise regularly and prefer coffee to water.
My back surgery, a year & a half ago, has been my only experience with a major medical event in my life. Even before the fractured vertebra was diagnosed I just accepted that back pain was the norm, an inconvenience, and went on with my life. Before this I had never been hospitalized.
I have all of my organs.
I have 20/20 vision (last I checked.)
I have never had to have braces or a root canal.
I switched my primary care doctor recently because my former doctor ALWAYS seemed too hurried to bother with patients. You'd wait 45 min to an hour to see her and then she would shove a prescription at you and show you the door.
I discovered the WONDERFUL Cushing Street Family Practice hidden away in a 120 year old blue & yellow adobe building right here in my neighborhood. The family clinic is PA (Physician Assistant) owned & operated by two women who wanted to create a better medical practice.
After practicing in Arizona for more than 20 years, Ricci Silberman and Molly Wheelwright had a good idea what their ideal practice would look like. It just wasn't a vision shared by any of the physicians they'd worked for over the years...
"We both watched physician friends and colleagues and bosses burn out because of all the pressures from the business end and get more disillusioned and thus pressure us and themselves to see more patients to make the same amount of money," Wheelwright says. "We noticed these doctors were not treating their staffs as well as they might have. We noticed that their esthetics and offices could have been nicer."
"We started talking," says Silberman. "Wouldn't it be great to have our own practice? Wouldn't it be great to have a beautiful location? Wouldn't it be great to treat our staff well? Wouldn't it be great to have a good level of work versus family, so we don't get burned out?"
Silberman (on the left in the photo) and Wheelwright renovated the building and decorated it with attractive wood and tile, comfortable couches and work from local artists. There are no harsh fluorescent lights or bleak waiting areas or exam rooms..."
The practice draws a mix of Tucson professionals from downtown office buildings and underserved homeless, low-income and elderly patients from the nearby inner-city neighborhoods, and has also carved out a small niche treating transgender patients. It remains the only primary care practice in downtown Tucson.
"We take care of patients who some docs have been a little uncomfortable with," Wheelwright says. "We pride ourselves on being open. We really put our patients first. We treat them very well." (Original article by Stephen Cornell here.)
The office has the feel of an art gallery-When I first walked in-it felt like an extension of home. (Funny. So much of what we spend our time searching for far & wide is right under our noses all along!) Finally, a knowledgeable-progressive medical practitioner with a lovely bedside manner!
Routine physical-low blood pressure, heart sounds good, blood work great EXCEPT ...
My fasting blood glucose level has qualified me for borderline diabetes. The gravity of this diagnosis didn't fully hit me for a couple of days. Holy Sh*t!!!
How could this happen!?!
I know exactly how this came to be and it is difficult to admit. I've managed to align (perfectly) all of the right factors over the last year & a half to bring about this result.
1. The Inactivity of post surgery recovery has become the habit. I've had difficulty in reestablishing my active self. (Gone are my California hikes to the beach.)
2. Poverty which has resulted in subsisting on bagels, cheese sandwiches, pasta, potatoes and other cheap processed starchy foods. (No one forced my to pursue a career in the arts.)
[Add lines 1. & 2. to get Weight Gain. (APPLE shaped makes it sound so charming.)]
3. A family history of Diabetes-both sides I think.
What leaves me reeling is just how quickly this happened. I underwent every medical test and screening possible right before my surgery and was in perfect health! Luckily-this is just a very clear-loud-serious wake up call. I am so grateful to have found a doctor who pays attention to the red flags and has a very calming and encouraging way of working with patients. The extent to which I will have to make lifestyle changes is great. (Even though I have adopted pretty sensible eating habits recently-cooking almost all of what I eat from whole organic simple foods-So much will have to be modified.) After a good cry today which has partially cleared out the sudden sense of shock, fear, disappointment and frustration-I am ready to take this on with a positive attitude. The research has begun. Have spent a good part of the weekend exploring low glycemic recipes, herbs, super foods and supplements.
I sauteed a Bitter Melon (with garlic, soy and a little fermented black bean) tonight and it is truly HORRIBLE! (This was my first experiment with a blood glucose lowering meal.) I really don't think it is a flavor I can describe. Bitter is fine. I have no issue with bitter. The Bitter Melon actually smells really nice raw & uncut-slightly sour, green and fresh. Cooking seems to unleash its evil. This vegetable tastes slightly toxic. It has an almost poisonous aftertaste which is really disconcerting. If it helps lower my blood glucose level I WILL find a way to make it palatable! I will blanch the next one (I bought 2) as letting the slices sit in colander with salt for 15 min didn't produce a very desirable taste. I can't tell you how many times I have picked up one of these culinary marvels in an asian market out of curiosity.
It is not wise to mock the Bitter Melon.
(This I now know. Good that it is available in supplement form!)
And so, I reclaim my former glory!
(even if this means I will dine exclusively on Bitter Melon from this point on-who needs croissants!)
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