From Dove to Self Discovery

For the last few days I have felt really aimless. The afternoons have been warm & sticky and filled with dust. (85 degrees is too hot for April!) The front door blew open yesterday and I found myself in a whirlwind of adobe dust & cat hair. I closed my eyes & mouth against the blast and secured the door. Carnage. The lint & debris of everyday life swirled up from crevices to be deposited again on the hard wood floors in grey tufts. So much to do... so much to clean... the dread of even hotter days to come. The house needs to be cleaned top to bottom. The kind of cleaning which requires a great deal of kneeling, scrubbing, lifting-the kind of cleaning which involves Q-tips! Phooey! Waiting for the cool of the evening to begin the process.

Made a trip to our wonderful neighborhood indoor farmer's/asian market to pick up a few broccoli crowns and came home to find a dove resting with its mate in the prickly pear tree at the end of the driveway. I was struck by how perfectly it was balancing on the top of a cactus pad. Nestled down; its downy belly pressed against the thin prickly edge of the pad. Doves are quite mysterious. It was perched like that for quite awhile so I decided to try to photograph the event. Anyone who has ever tried to photograph a dove at close proximity will understand just how sensitive an endeavor this is. By the time I had focused the camera it had arisen and was preparing to flutter off in a nervous fuss. I apologized profusely.

There I was out behind the house with a camera in my hands. Snapped a quick picture of the prickly pear tree; thinking I'd use it to illustrate my thoughts regarding the balancing dove.

A wonderfully familiar yet neglected feeling of creative introspection began to sweep over me. There was nothing new about the pictures I was taking. What hit me was that I was seeing; I was taking the time to admire the phenomena of new growth, budding, flowering. I pull in and out of the driveway several times every day and I hadn't noticed this happening. Too many distractions (excuses) Long day at work-can't wait to get my shoes off... need to get cat food-do I have enough gas to get to the store?!!? Etc.

I began to SEE the yard in a more thoughtful way. I'd forgotten that there is an old trunk, left to be taken by the elements, out in the common area behind the back yard. I bet it has a story to tell-didn't give in to my curiosity to see what was inside-just admired its weathered surface.

Took a closer look at my old 1920's typewriter; left to rust in my small enclosed back yard-sturdy, heavy and filling with leaves. Hmm... to type on leaves...

I love the beauty of weathered things but seeing the trunk & typewriter touched a more cerebral nerve within me. Seeing these things in such an unused state brought on a mid afternoon exercise in self analysis. I was reminded that life continues around a thing that is in a state of inactivity. The typewriter no longer clicks with the ideas of the writer. Instead, weeds wind through, bloom, seed then wither-spiders spin, shed then move on-leaves curl then begin to decompose. MADE ME THINK-hit a nerve. NEED to CREATE & ENGAGE. It is as simple as that.

On Gypsy Curses & Grilled Mangos

Nothing more wonderful than having a completely new experience with something familiar. I've long thought that one can live on the same short block and still not have seen & experienced all that it has to offer in the course of an entire lifetime.

I revel in life's smaller pleasures-Just discovered Grilled Mangos with Raspberry Coulis at a local deli counter. These are the perfect marriage of fruit & fire...(mangos, lime juice, brown sugar & raspberries.) The pyromaniac in me has always approved of the charring, smoking and grilling of various vegetables & fruits but I somehow failed to consider the mango as a candidate for the grill! I love the smokey tartness on such a hot day-we have somehow skipped spring here in Tucson. While much of the country is digging out of the snow-we are at the mercy of the sun once again here in the desert.

Over the past few weeks I feel as though I have somersaulted several times and have come up in a completely different place in my life. Everything is familiar but slightly changed...

Have felt as though I am under the spell of an ancient gypsy curse this past week. Feel like a big bubble of inauspiciousness popped on my birthday. it has released it's greasy air in a vaporous cloud which clings to me. I blow it away and it's reappears around me. Have a cold that will not go, a flat tire, & check card fraud. It rained a cold drenching muddy torrent on my birthday-which I normally welcome (especially here in the desert!) but on this particular day I REALLY wanted to pitter around in the garden... very strange indeed as both the day before & the day after were lovely and spring like! Today I witnessed a rear end car crash right in front of me and when the system crashed at the post office while I was being assisted I felt oddly responsible! Almost funny but not quite; must find a four leafed clover...

Despite all of this I feel at peace!

As well as reconnecting with family members in California (which was LONG overdue!!!) I have also experienced the joy of connecting with my beautiful family in Zambia, Amsterdam & Boston. Can't even begin to express the pure excitement I'm experiencing in getting to know my beautiful step mother, 6 stepsisters & 2 stepbrothers. Life is something else! I feel completely giddy! I am learning to speak Bemba!

Life is beautiful, gypsy curse & all...

Inspiration!

Kate MacDowell

Kate MccGwire

Cal Lane

Love these works! Inspires me to pick up where I've left off with my own Installation Projects!

On Sickness and Small Comforts

Sick in Bed=Happy Cat

Haven't quite felt like myself this past week...A nasty cold has ravaged my household. Ever since the surgery I swear I have caught EVERY cold bug possible... soon I will petition Guinness World Records as the champion of most cold viruses ever endured. (or Guinness for several pints to numb my throbbing head!!!) I am an influenza trendsetter... first on the block every time... on to the next/the latest-before the masses catch on (or catch it!) Luckily, I have never been seriously ill. Pretty sturdy composition when it comes down to it. My body is still working on 'growing bone' from the bone grafts in my L5 vertebra-so I guess I'll cut it some slack! In writing that I realized that I never asked my surgeon where the bone material came from... do I really want to know?!!? (My imagination is now running away with itself!)

Haven't felt like making art... haven't felt like cooking...(or cleaning.) Just want to pull the covers up over my head... curl up within the cat incubated sheets and sleep the discomfort away. Follow the trail of kleenex... the sniffles and whimpers and you'll find me wrapped in a cocoon of blankets in the dark... nose blown red raw.

I usually awake to find one cat on each side of me. (Both cats on the same side ALWAYS results in a fracas.) I've got the drill down. Sometime in the wee morning hours I receive a visit from Ophelia who signals her desire to crawl beneath the covers by licking my forehead once AND/OR Lucciola (LuLu) who claws at the sheets until I lift them for entry. We settle back into sleep... warm, dreaming, whiskers twitching. A small comfort.

The Family Name

Luker's Pub-Ireland

I am so excited to reconnect with family after several years...so much catching up to do! How did so much time pass so quickly!?! Found This Fabulous Pub in Shannonbridge County Offaly Ireland. The perfect place to meet for a family get together!!!