For the last few days I have felt really aimless. The afternoons have been warm & sticky and filled with dust. (85 degrees is too hot for April!) The front door blew open yesterday and I found myself in a whirlwind of adobe dust & cat hair. I closed my eyes & mouth against the blast and secured the door. Carnage. The lint & debris of everyday life swirled up from crevices to be deposited again on the hard wood floors in grey tufts. So much to do... so much to clean... the dread of even hotter days to come. The house needs to be cleaned top to bottom. The kind of cleaning which requires a great deal of kneeling, scrubbing, lifting-the kind of cleaning which involves Q-tips! Phooey! Waiting for the cool of the evening to begin the process.Made a trip to our wonderful neighborhood indoor farmer's/asian market to pick up a few broccoli crowns and came home to find a dove resting with its mate in the prickly pear tree at the end of the driveway. I was struck by how perfectly it was balancing on the top of a cactus pad. Nestled down; its downy belly pressed against the thin prickly edge of the pad. Doves are quite mysterious. It was perched like that for quite awhile so I decided to try to photograph the event. Anyone who has ever tried to photograph a dove at close proximity will understand just how sensitive an endeavor this is. By the time I had focused the camera it had arisen and was preparing to flutter off in a nervous fuss. I apologized profusely.
There I was out behind the house with a camera in my hands. Snapped a quick picture of the prickly pear tree; thinking I'd use it to illustrate my thoughts regarding the balancing dove.A wonderfully familiar yet neglected feeling of creative introspection began to sweep over me. There was nothing new about the pictures I was taking. What hit me was that I was seeing; I was taking the time to admire the phenomena of new growth, budding, flowering. I pull in and out of the driveway several times every day and I hadn't noticed this happening. Too many distractions (excuses) Long day at work-can't wait to get my shoes off... need to get cat food-do I have enough gas to get to the store?!!? Etc.
I began to SEE the yard in a more thoughtful way. I'd forgotten that there is an old trunk, left to be taken by the elements, out in the common area behind the back yard. I bet it has a story to tell-didn't give in to my curiosity to see what was inside-just admired its weathered surface.
Took a closer look at my old 1920's typewriter; left to rust in my small enclosed back yard-sturdy, heavy and filling with leaves. Hmm... to type on leaves...
I love the beauty of weathered things but seeing the trunk & typewriter touched a more cerebral nerve within me. Seeing these things in such an unused state brought on a mid afternoon exercise in self analysis. I was reminded that life continues around a thing that is in a state of inactivity. The typewriter no longer clicks with the ideas of the writer. Instead, weeds wind through, bloom, seed then wither-spiders spin, shed then move on-leaves curl then begin to decompose. MADE ME THINK-hit a nerve. NEED to CREATE & ENGAGE. It is as simple as that.
